Someone posted the following comment, which was so funny/good that I had to give it its own entry:
Dr C. Riyal Kilah said...
Dear brothers and sisters in Islam,I have something terrible to report.
I have come home from the hospital feeling very upset. All the radiation sources have disappeared from the oncology department - probably those Buddhists up to their tricks again.
The kaffir hospital management (Inshallah may they soon die of strange, undiagnosable ailments and be replaced by Islamic brothers) called an emergency meeting addressed by a kaffir police officer. This institutionally-racist representative of the oppressive Zionist-Crusader alliance said that the radiation sources could be "Used by terrorists to make a dirty bomb".
I was extremely hurt and distressed by this statement. I forcefully pointed out that there is no such thing as a terrorist. Gordon Brown himself (pbuh) has said so. The word 'terrorist' is hate-speech - it is a racist term of abuse used by bigots, Islamophobes and BNP supporters (Inshallah may they find themselves upon our operating tables tended by Muslim anaesthetists) to vilify peaceful Muslims.
I have written to Sir Ian B.Liar demanding the officer's dismissal and prosecution for racist verbal assault. I intend to sue the Metropolitan Police for the post-traumatic emotional stress this appalling incident has caused me, and will continue to cause me for the next fifty years. I have been examined by four independent Muslim psychiatrists who will vouch for my mental suffering (I'll accept an out of court settlement of £500,000 in a five-way split, Inshallah).
I just hope I've recovered enough by next week to be able to attend the annual dinner of the Muslim Medical Malpractitioners' Association. My colleague Dr Aggun I. Singh-Deth will be receiving the Dr Josef Mengele (pbuh) Prize for innovation in surgical procedures, and I am due to give a presentation on performance evaluation for our new Dr Harold Shipman (pbuh) Award for meeting mortality rate targets (One point for a standard kaffir, two for a dancing slag, three for a Jew, four for an Islamophobic blogger, five for an apostate and 100 for Sir Salman Rushdie).
I must finish now, as night has fallen and I have noticed a strange green light in the back of my car. Probably glowworms.
Dr C. Riyal KilahMuslim
Medical Malpractitioners Association
'You'll need more than an apple a day to keep us away' TM
2 comments:
Dear brothers and sisters in Islam,
Following recent adverse reactions in Glasgow, Muslim doctors should perhaps avoid Scotland and consider relocating to Wales.
Wales is a land of opportunity and reservoirs. It is the ideal place for a young Muslim doctor with an interest in microbial pathogens to gain his first practical experience.
However, as well as opportunities there are risks, such as the dangers of seduction by the lustful Welsh sheep, goats and cows. Muslim pedoetricians should also be warned about the sex-mad Welsh toddlers who will lead them astray and then complain to their Islamophobic parents that the doctor has been experimenting with unusual physiotherapeutic techniques.
But most importantly every Muslim male, especially the trainee doctors, must be made aware of the filthy Kuffar slags known as nurses.
My Muslim colleagues - Dr Leeth al-Dohs, Dr Homi Saeed and Dr Aggun I. Singh-Deth - received an invitation from the dirty-dancing clitorally-intact nurse bints to attend a disco where these gyrating slags pulsate their uncovered meat to the lustful rhythms of their accursed infidel music.
(Please excuse me a moment while I massage my trouser-minaret. - Ahhhh... that's better!!!!)
I was unable to attend because I was involved in certain experiments regarding new non-medical uses for nitroglycerin, Dr Leeth al-Dohs was working on Kuffar infant mortality, Dr Homi Saeed was spending most of his time in the microbiology lab following the untimely deaths of his two technicians, and Dr Aggun I. Singh-Deth was busy in the hospital dispensary relabelling the harmaceutical products.
Luckily, Dr Homi Saeed's younger brother, Sewi, said he would go to the disco, and had a special jacket made for the occasion, full of king-sized Lebanese party-poppers. He said he expects have a good bang with the nurses before the night is over.
- Dr C. Riyal Kilah
Secretary, Muslim Medical Malpractitioners' Association
My dear Christian and Jewish friends,
On behalf of the Muslim Medical Malpractitioners Association I am most happy to keep you informed of the contribution that Muslim doctors make to the British National Health Service.
We are fully committed to cradle-to-grave healthcare (preferably with as few intermediate stages as possible) and are involved in many innovative developments.
For example, an ambulance, since it is an emergency vehicle, can gain access to areas which would be closed to other traffic. This has prompted Dr Homi Saeed to develop a new advanced design of ambulance which has a petrol (gasolene) tank with a capacity sufficient for a range of 350,000 miles, and carries no fewer than 50 cylinders of a variety of medical gases including chlorine and phosgene. We are hoping to test it out in the near future once our contacts in the Metropolitan Police have suggested a suitable destination.
Regretably I must go now as I am due to carry out a swabbing and inspection of the non-halal section of the hospital kitchens with my microbiologist colleague Dr Salman Ellah.
- Dr C. Riyal Kilah
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