Commando Basset Hound story of the week

I use the term "basset hound" in a singular fashion, because this story only involves one of my canines. Sometime on Sunday, Sadie, who is generally the most passive of the three commando basset hounds, decided to roll around in the grass in our backyard. In so doing, she rolled around in something that made her smell hideous. So, it was bath time for Sadie.

I don't know if any of you have ever had to give a bath to a dog who seems equally determined not to undergo one, but it is, to put it mildly, a challenging event. I got the water started in the tub, and after an exhilarating 10 minutes spent chasing all three dogs around the house (funny how they resort to the pack mentality whenever "danger" presents itself), managed to corner Sadie under our computer desk. She refuses to come out voluntarily, so I pull her out. She tries to escape, so I pick her up. She promptly pees on my shirt. Given that three of the four little BHG's were in hearing range and were thoroughly amused by the whole spectacle, I avoid using any profanity, but do indicate to Sadie in fairly direct language that I will be dropping her off in the middle of I-295 "to play" following her bath.

After some more struggling, I get into the bathroom with Sadie and shut the door. At that point the oldest of the little BHGs, eager to see what is going on, opens the door, allowing Sadie to escape. She bolts, though I did make a great tackle attempt on her, jamming my shoulder in the wall as I did so. After another 10-minute search, I find her cowering behind a laundry pile in the basement. I pick her up again and she registers her displeasure with me by howling all the way up the stairs. Phoebe and Flash, perhaps in sympathy for their oppressed sister, howl at me as well. We re-enter the bathroom, and I place Sadie in the tub. Sadie hops out of the tub. I put her back in. She hops back out. I put her back in, but this time, I block her off. She hops over my shoulder and stands on my back, causing me to fall into the tub. Meanwhile, Flash and Phoebe continue to howl outside the bathroom. Clearly, an uprising of the masses is afoot.

After briefly contemplating whether Sadie would look better if she were stuffed and mounted, I get myself out of the tub and get Sadie back in. I really needn't have bothered, given that there was as much water on the bathroom floor at this point as there was in the tub. Nonetheless, I scrub Sadie down and shampoo her, before toweling her off. At that point, I reopened the bathroom door, and Sadie vanished.

Postscript: About an hour later, I found a chewed up magazine on the floor of my bedroom. Given that Phoebe was sleeping on the couch and Flash was outside, I sought out Sadie, but couldn't find her anywhere. After about 20 minutes of searching, I finally found her.......................in the bathtub.